Overnight Leadership Glow-Up — via 4 Questions — Michael Mauro

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could wake up tomorrow morning knowing that all your work relationships were miraculously perfect?

Wouldn’t it be great if every conversation with every direct report from now on went smoothly, with zero friction, zero miscommunications, zero awkwardness, and zero difficulty? Just you and them, constantly and happily on the same page?

Wouldn’t it be amazing to stop wondering and worrying about what your talent really wants and is really thinking, and to just know? To stop worrying about your top people heading for the door, and ever-growing skills gaps? To stop guessing how many individual pieces of straw have to land on your back before it breaks? Even if your back can support a lot of straw, everyone has a limit to what they can withstand at work.

A terrible relationship with your boss is the number 1 reason people quit their job.

That means almost everyone reading this (you?) has left a job for that exact reason.

It’s not always because one party is pure evil or channelling Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada; sometimes it’s simply about not knowing how to communicate with each other. It’s easy for different personalities to rub each other up the wrong way, but the path of misunderstanding and lack of trust is a slippery slope with not a lot to grab on to on the way down.

But there isn’t a single organisation or leader right now who can afford to lose any more talent, or further damage the relationships with employees. Especially now that working from home and hybrid working models are in full swing, and teams all over the world are increasingly at risk of fracturing.

However, 63% of employees with a bad manager are thinking of leaving their company within the next 12 months.

Breathe. Here are 4 quick wins for leaders to inspire overnight (yes, overnight — miracles really can happen) change in your talent — efforts to make on your part, and performance management conversations to initiate today if you don’t have a strong relationship with your direct report:

1. Leaders: have you opened your mind?

Performance management conversations need to be authentic and honest. I have had a lot of these conversations both as a direct report and as a leader. As a direct report, they have been terrible for me when my leadership team have been concerned with their own agendas, not actively listening to me, not taking my considerations on board, not advocating for me, or protecting me being there and saying, “Hey, I’ve got your back.”

The conversations that went well when I was a direct report were ones in which I felt trusted, leaders weren’t constantly questioning me, and they were creating opportunities for me to share and learn. Make a note of a proactive step that you can take today with each employee, to demonstrate this. It can be as simple as opening a meeting with, “How are you, really, today?” or, “Is there anything I can be doing today to support you?”

Leaders need to be curious, bring out the best in their people, have direct conversations that are robust, meaningful, and values-based. I have certainly found it harder to lead people who are very different to me. It requires a lot more flexibility on the leader’s part, but a lot of leadership research suggests that those who are most adaptable to the people around them, without compromising their authenticity, are the leaders who are most effective.

You can imagine how that doesn’t only play out in direct report meetings or meetings with senior leadership teams, but also with peers, external stakeholders, networks, and so on.

2. Leaders: how are you managing biases?

How are you managing similarity bias, hierarchy bias, the Halo and Horn effects, for example? Because I do think that it’s a lot easier when there is a favourable bias to the type of people you’re leading, and it’s a trap that a lot of leaders fall into. What managing biases really looks like to me is being able to ask open questions, being able to receive honest answers, and then being able to coach and brainstorm with the direct report, and support them in their growth and development.

Leaders need to be constantly adopting a D&I mindset, and be thinking about uniqueness and belonging, and what it means to be an inclusive leader. Ask your direct reports, “How can I be a more inclusive leader with you?” “How do you feel about our organisational culture?” When leaders are speaking with people who may be experiencing life and work in a different way, this is a much more meaningful and insightful approach to a performance management conversation.

3. Leaders: how familiar you can be with your team? Do you know what’s important to individuals?

Are you asking your direct reports, “What’s most important to you in your life, both personal and professional? What do you aspire to in the long-term? How can I help you achieve either of those goals? What support and resources do I — and this organisation — have to help you get there?

What are the political challenges you’re experiencing? Are there issues within the team or across the organisation? Can I support you with role-playing conversations? Can I open up doors or networks for you because something’s not getting across the line?”

4. Leaders: have you asked your direct report about what they want to weave into development programs? (HR, I’m looking at you here, too)

What sort of self-reflection, information, personal anecdotes, or stories can you as a leader bring into the performance management conversation, to spark a connection and create a deeper understanding? Yes, there’s a line — but every leader needs to learn that. There’s a certain level of professional openness that leaders must bring, and that will encourage the direct report to match that effort.

What if you already have a strong relationship with your direct report? Here are a few things you can do to make it even better:

• Set up monthly one-on-one meetings to discuss ideas, strategies, feelings, feedback, with open questions, so you are both making conscious and continuous efforts to put yourselves in each other’s shoes.
• Look for opportunities to innovate together.
• Always be your authentic, human self. It will help direct reports feel able to do the same. Never be ‘too busy’ to be kind to people or have an informal chat.
• Be transparent about your methodology and vision and try to include everyone in decision-making.
• Practise active listening, and ask for feedback on your management and coaching style — and take action. Make time every day to think about what you have learned from your team, and push yourself to share those learnings.
• Always recognise and reward hard work when you see it.

Originally published at https://www.michaelmauro.co.uk on February 21, 2022.